you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
