Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
