Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
