i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All the doctor said was why
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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