Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
