1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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