WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
