i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
