Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
