I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
