? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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