All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
