Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
