Kiss
Puke
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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