So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize