Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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