He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're not piercing ourselves today.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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