I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
