ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
