I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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