Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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