Don't make out with my wife yet
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
