Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
