do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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