these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
