dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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