Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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