It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
