no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
