i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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