yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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