Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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