It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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