You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
