bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize