i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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