fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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