remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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