eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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