I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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