Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
