I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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