Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
