I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
