I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
