don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
