so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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