We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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