god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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