atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
In America we eat man semen.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
