JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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