i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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