So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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