Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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