I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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