i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
