I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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