Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize