At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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