What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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