If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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