You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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