dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dick very happy bro
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize