What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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